What a Monkey Business

Image was originally created by Kenny Sia

If human beings are pictured like our closest relative, the primates, running a motion to support proposal on certain crisis similar to the one announced yesterday in Parliament, the following might be the outcome of what’s going to be reported in the ape’s news, BH (Not Berita Harian but Beruk Harian).

APES’ TRIBAL COUNCIL, 24 June: The tribal council has finally approved the motion to support the increase of the exchange rate for the barter trade due to rising cost of planting bananas in the Ape’s Kingdom with 129 supporting votes against 78 opposing votes from BR (Banana Rebels) side.

The 129 apes supporting the motion are from BN (Banana Nation) side consist of various species including the endangered species of orang utans representing BN from Sabah and Sarawak. These orang utans didn’t resist the motion even though they are the one badly hit by this change simply because they always feel inferior against the tribal lord, AB (Apek Bigfoot).

While attention was focused on the monkey business issue, there are 2 orang utans, which were absent from the council meeting due to bobby trap threats from unknown resource, in this latest deathly speculation after they and their tribe plan to leave BN. Its tribal leader, the macaque with Elvis sideburn has earlier been questioned by BPR (Beruk Pencegah Rasuah) for receiving extra large bananas quite a while ago.

With this motion now pass for implementation; almost all the apes in the kingdom will be affected. With more forests chopped down for planting bananas, apes are finding it hard to find sources to exchange with bananas, their main source of food, which is monopolized by BN. It has been promised a while ago that due to the increase in barter trade rate exchange, BN will give back 625 bananas per ape’s calendar year back to the apes for those which inhabit at altitude of 2000m and below. While monkeys living in habitat of 250m and below will get the modest 150 bananas per ape’s calendar year.

It doesn't make any different with the freebies. Apes with bigger families are complaining about the hike, which will jeopardize their food consumption due to high productivity rate. Some already consider neutering to reduce productivity. For bigger species such as certain types of orang utans, they will have to re-adjust their lifestyle by reducing their energetic bodies.

As for the BN representatives, this motion doesn’t affects them at all since they own most of the banana plantations with the biggest plot belongs to AB’s empire.-Beruk Harian

This news got its inspiration from:
129 voted for, 78 against governments motion on price hikes

No primates was injured, killed or slaughtered in the process.